naughty limericks

[Guest]

There was a young lady of Clewer,
who was riding a bike and it threw her,
a man saw her there,
with her legs in the air,
and seized the occasion to screw her.

[nelix]

Horny Young Lady




A horny young lady named Lil
fucked a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
in north Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil..



An accident really uncanny
Befell an unfortunate granny
She sat in her chair
Whilst her false teeth were there
And bit herself right in the fanny...

[Guest]

brill nel...love them xx

[Olay]

[nelix]

There was a young man of Gwent
Whose tool was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of comming, he went...



There was a young man from Calcutta
who peeked through a hole in a shutter,
all he could see
was a prostitute's knee,
and the bum of the chap that was up her..

[Guest]

is dittys and poems allowed aswell ?

[Guest]

i think ther is a thread fer poems somewhere already

[Guest]

There was a young lady from Nizes,
who had tits of two different sizes,
one was so small,
it was nothing at all,
but the other was quite large, and won prizes!




Young Lady of Clewer Limerick






A pretty young maiden from France,
decided she’d “just take a chance”,
she let herself go,
for an hour or so,
and now all her sisters are aunts.







There once was a queer from Khartoum,
who took a lesbian up to his room,
they spent the whole night,
in a hell of a fight,
over who should do what, and to whom!






There was an old fellow named Paul,
whose prick was exceedingly small,
when in bed with a lay,
he could screw her all day,
without touching her vaginal wall.





There once was a man from Winsocket,
who rode down the street on a rocket,
the force of the blast,
blew his balls up his ass,
and his pecker was found in his pocket.

[ColinS]

There once was a lady called Lizz
She usually comes with a Fizz
But now and again
It gives her a pain
and poor old Richie the Bizz

Lily is sweetness and Light
and never gives way to her plight
She works all night long
in naught but a thong
and pays her Pim..manager every night.

Olay is quite different you see
She moans and squeals with glee
She sometimes needs a bit of a whip
But never has to be asked twice to strip
And doesn't even stop for a pee.

Rainbow is innocent and always ready to play
But i am sure Olay and Lizz lead her astray
She likes upside down Fish
But not cooked in a dish
and you should see the men she gets through in a day

A young lady named Rose
Turns heads wherever she goes
She sits in a chair
with her legs in the Air
Striking a marvellous Pose

We all know the lovely Dolly
She pops in now and again for a Jolly
She got an awful shock
When she saw Munchy's Rock
And had to cool down by sucking a lolly.

[Guest]

col
well brilliant

[Olay]

Colin's a bit of a cad
You should see the women he's had!
Their belly's are jelly, their arm pits are smelly but Colin says "Mmmm not bad".

Lily my alley cat friend.
100 men to tend.
Her skirt is so short, all the men fought ......to throw pennies and ogle her bend!

Munchkins my cyber love bug.
Likes to make love on the rug.
Its a bit of a farce when he burns his arse.....and I cant find the damn water jug.

Lizzie keeps stealing my man,
Hahaha as if she can!
I just wait until ten cos she's in bed then....and he jumps from the fire to the pan.

[nelix]

Very good olay..

Mary had a little pig
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.



Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.



JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Dozy Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.



Mary had a little Lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
and turned it's wool to nylon.



Mary had a little pig,
she couldn't stop it grunting.
She took it down the garden path,
and kicked its little head in.



Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day.
She took a dose of Castor oil,
to pass the time away.
The oil, it did not work.
The time it did not pass.
So if you want to know what time it is,
You'll have to look up Mary's ass.

[clansman]

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket
Every time the lamb climbed out
Her wee dug tried to put it back in again

[Lilysue]

Lol @ Olay and Colin...Brilliant!!



There once was a man from Madrass
Whose balls were made out of brass
When he'd bang 'em together
They'd play stormy weather
And lightning would shoot out of his ass

[Guest]

There was an old fellow named Paul,
whose prick was exceedingly small,
when in bed with a lay,
he could screw her all day,
without touching her vaginal wall.